Hear the lady roar.

6.12.06

I am sorry but i feel so hurt...i feel as though my heart is being smashed into a million zillion pieces....you tell me you dont feel love....that means i have failed as a stead.....Do you think that there is still any point in continuing on this relationship ? how can one tell you that he dont feel love when all the time you are trying your best to acheive that......that person tell you that you did not ti liang him......i try my very very best to ti liang you that i feel that i am dying already.....you dont msg me for almost a day....fine i try thinking of excuses like your batt flat never go charge......ok....than you tell me you do not have time to meet....than the next minute you tell me you are at your friends house.....Ok nevermind i try to ti liang you that you make arrangement with them first so you do not have time to meet me.....ok nevermind......Wanna meet you confirm meeting....just 1 hour before meeting time you tell me you cant meet....ok i try ti liang you.....after that at night msg you ask you can online you never replied.....today msg you ask you jiayou for your training....than after that you tell me you dont have training.....than you applying med now...tell me that you today than read the msg......bull shitting....than you tell me nowadays you not enthu in meeting me....what cause whenever we get intimidate its just what you do to me than i dont appreciate....i dont look into your eyes dont make you feel love......Just by those words i dont make you feel love.....do you know how much you can hurt a person just by saying that....you say you are tired.....you think i am not.....i try ti liang you dao i think i have lost myself....count the number of times i had cried for you........its more than anybody else.......i have never been more emo than this 5 months.........i want to talk things out.....you tell me you dont want to talk....cause when we talk you say you are the one who swallow everything or you lose your temper.....and that it is meaningless to talk....than have you thought about how i feel......you just say that i never ti liang you....but have you ti liang how i feel before.....have you ? All this while when i am messaging you all i wanted to hear from you was i love you....this 3 simple words but all along you never did say.......you just keep on ask me is it i am initiating a break...you keep asking me that.....but cant you just say i love you....dont like that okie.....but all you gave was 'so you telling me break is the only resolution....you telling me i drove you to this break....you tellin me that i should feel love when you dont even express it ? ' have not i tell you my way of expressiong love ? have i not tell you that i do not show by touching ? have i not told you that i show love by giving you gifts ? Am i entertaining myself all this while ? the wugui....the chocos........again........after that you tell me you nothing to say le....and again you ask me is it i want to break up....... T.T wo heng lei........wo zhen de heng lei......3 words....just 3 words to calm me down......but you choose not to give me.........i am tired....i am exhausted......i am confused......i dont know what to do......you say you cant feel love.....what do you want me to do.........since you cant feel love you think in future you can feel it ?? you are sian of lying.......i am sorry.....sorry for having you lie to your mum for 5 months........but hey i know how that feels too.....i have to lie to my dad in order to go out also......i am sorry for everything........

haiz....thought that i could meet you before i go indonesia....b ut haiz now i dont think i can even meet you le........I didn't expect this to happen faster than i thought....i thought all this 'war' would start only after i come back cause so many days never talk to each other.......but haiz....i am tired of crying for now............

Happy/sad/angry/me?