23.11.06
Just came back from Prom......suppose to be happy yet i was thinking of him all the time....
i wonder what had really gone wrong......I wonder what we had done to deserve this......You start to behave in such a manner.....I start to behave in another manner.....Will we be back to the original manner than ??? will we ?? hope so is the really you give.....and thats not what i had wish for.....I wish for a YES WE WILL !! but nope....you just give a so so answer.....Will we ever than be back to before ?? will we....i wish for assurance.....i wish that we can....and soon we will......i wish......i hope.....we will.....wont we ??
i saw someone's nick.....and duh of course i want to know what happen to you and of course i go and ask him and of course he dont tell me.......i guess friends are always like that....they wont tell you what is going on with you to your stead......I guess that is always the case......But i think that true friends are the ones who tell their friend stead how their stead is feeling now....cause they are the ones who knows what is going on with their friend......cause if you wanna see your friend HAPPY and be back to normal with their stead in times of quarrel or whatever you should do that........if you do not let your friend stead know how bad your stead is feeling they will never know......NEVER........Errm...i guess what i just said was a little complicated so nevermind.....dont bother to read again........Its just my feelings and my thoughts about such matter.......
i wanted to meet you terribly....yes terribly......but......i think maybe we are still afraid to face the music.....Ok maybe i am so irritating that your friend do not even bother to tell me about your problems....OR let just say i am kaypo okie.....i need to know more about you......i really need to.......i bet that you will be like going crazy after you see this post....but really i need to voice it all out.....we aren't talking much this days....so i guess this is the fastest way of you knowing what i am thinking........i feel like crying....i feel like screaming my lungs out......i feel like just jumping off the cliff and just say goodbye cruel world....but nope i shall be strong......i shall prove to myself that i can move this block that is obstucting us........i know we can if we think we can......so i shall say i can......what about you ??? will you abandon me and left me alone trying to figure how i should remove this block or will you be there right beside me helping me to solve this problem of removing the block that is in our way.........I will be strong...yes i know i will.....i will not give up this battle.....No matter how irritating or thick skin i may have to be in order to know more about you...i shall still do it....Now is not the matter of face or not.....Face no longer matters to me....Cause i know that i am fighting for something far more important than that.......No matter how much i will be hated for by your friends for the constant pestering.....I will not give up......I WILL NOT....unless you tell me to.......So i will still constantly bark at your friends like a little dog.....oh yes.....like a little dog....trying to please the master to get their bone....but for me.....of course its not the bone but informations about you......i seriously need to know more about you......and of course unless you tell me not to bother them....haiz....than i will not.......I know i may sound super duper irritating but maybe my way of caring is in that manner...the super irritating manner.........cause that is the only way that i can get to know more about you cause you wont tell me.......i think i know what you are thinking now......You will surely be pissed of and just ask me to be more ti tie.....and stop bugging your friends and things like that.......haiz.....i know.....i knew it....i think i can read your mind....Oh shut up.....if you can.....you would have know how he think and feel.......I know i promise never to write anything bad but is this bad ?? Everything written here is about how bad i am and that i do not understand you that is why i landed in this state......and so i dont think its bad cause it only talks about my bad points....so i shall just publish it hoping that you see it.....cause i know that tmr your friend would surely tell you about what i had asked him yesterday.....i know he will cause that usually the way.......gosh....i sound like a bitch in this post....maybe i am.......arrh....whatever........No time to think whether you think i am bitchy or not cause i rather spend my time thinking about how to solve the problem....
Bless us that we shall be fine soon.
It pays to wait isn't it ?
AsLongAsYouLoveMe
Happy/sad/angry/me?
