22.8.06
I feeL sO strEssed uP...i wANt tO scReam My lungS oUt....i doNT kNow whAts iS sO wrong with daD thIs dAys...i reAlly doNt kNow...I kNow tHAt hE caRe bUt sOmetiMEs a littLE tOO mUch....HaiZ.....i feeL sO irriTatEd aND agItaTed wHEnevEr You NAg aT mE aND suCh anD so i keeP sHowIng attiUde.....i kNow i should Not dO thAt bUt reAlly i thInk i aM olD eNougH to dO aND thInk whAt i aM doing whEthEr is iT rIght oR wRong....MaYbe beCause You thInk thAt wE aRe keePing tOO mUch oN You tHAt iS whY YOu deCided tO dO ' spot checks ' Using the moSt Ridiculous wAy wHich is alSo thE wAY iN whICh YOu shOw nO reSpect tO uS aND oUr pRivAcy......tsk tsk......wHEn i aM at HoMe, i waNt peaCe...aRrgh.....i dont Like thE House beIng sO nOisy aNd suCh...i aM alReady sO strEsseD up...i dont neEd aNyMoRe Noise polluTion in thE hOuse....i neeD sOme pEace aND quIteness aND whEn i teLL tHem wILL yOu aLL plEase keeP quIEt thEy wiLL bE liKE blAh blAh blAh...Ok whAtEver....SometiMes i wiSh i haVe a switCh thAt i caN usE to tURn doWn thE vOluME aND ProBably tO pUt thEm oN mUte.....* reCall thE shOw Click * i aM sO tiRed Now..........
sOmetiMEs i feeL lIke giVing it aLL uP bUt i dOnt hAvE thE heaRt to dO sO cauSe i Know thAT thEre iS thIs sPeciaL hIm wHo woUld keePs mE goIng......I kNow HE woUld bE tHEre fOR mE wHEn i needEd hIm...haiZ.....I aCtuAlly broKe dOwn jUst Now whEn i aM talKing tO hIm...aLL oF a suDdeN i feeL sO stressEd uP...i feeL aS tHough i cOuld nOt taKE thE hEavY lOad aNyMore.....i tOld hIm......buT haiZ....i guEss No oNe eLSe wiLL actUally reALly UnderStaND wHAt You aRe gOing tHRough....Each hAs HiS or hEr oWn pRoblEm whIch no oNE eLse iS abLe to uNDerstaND iT exCepT For HIm oR HErsElf.....but nah.....bY thE tiMe YOU reAd it...i hAve alReadY cooL dOwn aND wOuld aLSo haVe beeN alRight....sO dOnt woRried....i aM tryIng to destreSs MyselF usIng thE mOSt siLLest mEtHod lOoKiNG aT mY EeyOre anD laUghIng mYSelf sILLy......One daY i goTtEn gO craZy...sO dOnt Be sUrPrIse iF You fInd ME In tHE MEntAl HosPitaL......Sorry !! i dont wAnt YOU tO worrIed sO yuppp i kePt It frOM YOu UntiL jUSt Now wHEn i coUld nOt taKe it anymORe......At leAst i haVe a littLE bEttEr aFter teLling YOu......EvEn tHougH You mIght Not reAlly bE abLE tO uNderstaND HOw i feeL aND whAt i aM gOing tHrough, it doEs nOt rEally MattEr....JUSt sHoweR mE wITh YOur caRe aND coNcErn.....That wOuld bE suffIcEnt.... <3ExaMS aRe neaRinG, aND MOre probS aRe sUrfacIng.....I am nOt thE oNly oNe whO iS emo-Ing aRoUnd......I bEt thEre aRe a cOuplE oF yOu out thEre wHo aRe faCing probS lIke thIs....i haTe it...* grrgh * In sChool, trOublEs comes aLOng wiTh FriEndsHips, teSts, TeacHErs.....esp....MR NG......i aM sO sO wOrrIEd He wOuld gO uSe my blOg aND blaCk maIL mE.....dAMn mY mOuth.....Why IS iT sO biG...i sHOuld haVe anSwer i dO nOT haVe a blOg...I kNow HE iS dOing fOR thE sAke oF fUn....bUt reALly i am tOO tIRed tO eNterTain....bUt You aRe Not tO uSe any oF the Post I haVe wrOte agAinst Me....I am lyIng wiTh my Eyes wide OpeN thIS dAys......haiZ.....ITs a siN bUT sOMetiMEs i reAlly deSperaTely NEed to keeP sOmethIngs awAy frOm sOme peoPle....ITs fOR mY owN saKe anD ProBably thEirs.....i dO Not wAnt tO sPoil thE ReLAtiOnshIp bUT nEitHEr Do i waNt to hIDe anYmoRe eIthEr....HidIng thIngs caN reAlly bE tIring.....My Only mOtiVatiOn tO movE on iS HIm.......
SchooL dAYs Are craZy.....i caNt reAlly iMagIne hOW i maNagE tO faCe thAt pErsOn wiTh a SmileY faCe.....i gottEn cOngrAtUlaTe MysElf For beIng sUCh a pro iN thAt......A mAsk thAt i haVe to wEar ON....i dOnt wANt It tO aFfeCt Our frIEndsHip bUT reAlly You haVe chAnge alOt.....You ain't thE pErsON you usE TO bE.....bUT i gUEss pEopLe cHangEs aS tiME goEs bY.....I chaNGe tOo as i aM tryIng tO adaPt wIth mY neW craZy lIfestYle OF PlaYing HIde aND seeK aND lYing wiTh ThroUgh mY teeTh......A maSk thAT i haVe tO pUt oN.....SometIMes It gEt Oh sO tirIng tHAT i wOuld rAther nOt talK....i wANt tO bE iN thE wOrld oF mY owN.....i waNt to stAy iN mY owN faNtaSy.......No worrIes...NO sOrrOWs.....
Fullstop.
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