7.6.06
Jus cAMe baCk fRom cAmp...3 dAys 2 NigHt jUst pAss lIKe thAt..
haIz...yEstErdAy...i reAlly dO nOt KnoW whAt to sAy...aLL i kNow iS thAt i wAs reAlly Emo aND i sTaRted to cry...ThankS sHikiN aND MarlEne...tHAnks lOts foR aLL YouR aDviCe etC...i reAlly dO noT kNow wHAt i wAnt aNd i aM reAlly dArn ConfuSed...EvEn tHOugH i sHOuld bE FeeLinG HigH durIng thE cAmPfiRe tiMe, wEll i wAsN't.....i wAsn't in thE mooD aT aLL...i TrIEd tO keeP mYselF buSy aNd KeeP mYselF OccUpy aLL thE tiMe cAusE wHenEver thEre iS fRee tiMe, i woUld stArt tO tHink abOut whAtEver haD haPpeN anD My wAtertaP wOuld stArt to oN agAin....teArs wOuld jUSt stArt tO fOrm...HAiZ...i feeL sO sO sO helPleSs...
i aM reAlly reAlly sorrY fOR i feeL thAt i haVe Hurt hIm...haIz...i kNow thAt bY dRaggIng tHinGs tOo lOng woUld oNly bE mOre oF a MentAl tOtuRe fOR uS buT i cOuldn't HelP it...i reAlly cOulDn't....i Just cAnt cOme tO a DecIsIon On wHAt i wAnt...i aM cOnfUSed...
When i taLk to hIm jUSt Now i cAnt hElp BuT kEeP oN cRy....he iS tOO gOod...His CharActer iS tOo tOO gOOd....hE iS Just tOO gOOd...Ahh...TeArs Just KeeP fAlliNg aND fAlliNg...Ahh...sHouLd i gO fOR LooKs oR cHaraCtEr ? i dO not kNow...ActUally LikE wHAt MarLene sAy, wHen pEopLE sAy LooKs dOEs not maTtEr aND thAT cHaRacTer iS mOre ImpoRtaNT, he/She mIght juSt bE LyIng to hiS/ HErseLf.....ActAully LooKs dOEs mAttEr a lIttLe tweeny-bIt iN thEir Heart....It cOuLd jUSt bE thE sAme foR mE....EvEn tHouGh i KeeP sAyiNg thAt lOoKs doEs nOt maTter aND ThAt cHaRacTer iS mOre ImpOrtAnt, bUT i guEss LooKs iS aLso thaT iMportAnt AftEr aLL....haIZ...i aM maD aT mYseLf...ReAlly reAlly maD...bUT aT thE sAme tImE i cAnt hElp buT fAlling iN loVe wIth hIs cHaraCter eVen mOre...thE wAy hE tEll mE thAT iTs Ok If i wANt tO reJect hIm oR whAtevEr cAuSe iF i wEre to bE wiTh hIm aND thAt i aM not HappY, hE wont bE haPpy tOo...Ahh....hE iS sO sO gOod...i dOnt kNow...Ahh...wiLL hIs cHarActEr cOvEr uP fOr hIs LooKs ??? Ahh....hE iS sO sO gOod...Too gOod...Why iS hE sO dAmn Good...Ahh...i dont kNow eXacTly wHAt i wAnt...i reAlly dOnt kNow...
No mAtTer WhaT i wiLL reMembEr 060606....His giFt reAlly reAlly tOucHEs mE aFter He ExplAin To Me wHy HE bOugHt iT...Ahh....StuPid teArs kEeP fAllIng...Ahh....i fEel ReAlly reAlly sorry TowArdS Him...Ahh...
tHE rEst i sHAll RefLEct UpOn mYseLf...Well Let mE bLog abOut sOme hAppiEr tHinGs...
CamP WAs kIndA fUn oF coUrSe oN thE fIRst dAy cAusE sEcOnd dAy i wAs eMo....hmm...buT thAn thEre iS tOo mUch fRee tiMe i guEss....sEConD dAy...funfun...bUT tOo Emo...ThiRd dAy..bEst dEsPite mY emo-neSs....The cHeerIng aND evErythIng maKes uS aLL so uniTed...fOR oNce wE cAn feeL thE unitY iN StuDent CounciL...Woots``
I lEarN How tO maKE milO....wHee`` iTs sO dAMn dIffUcUlt cAn...cAuSe thE fIRst tiME wHEn wE maKE thE miLo, its Like sO taSteleSs aS iF wE aRe drInkiNg Hot wAter with coLour...ya...iTs thAt baD...haiZ....Well thE beSt cAmpEr foR thIS cAmpEr goEs to kevinn...bEst grOup LOVE...Well thIs cAmp KindA goTteN uS aLL bOnded tOgTher....fun fun...HopE thAt neXt tiME haVe thIs type oF SC cAmp agAin...
All i cAn sAy nOw iS thAt i HopE fOr thE bEst...i shAll tRy mY vEry bEst not to talk oR msg Him...aND iF i KeeP thInKing of hIm, it meAns hE reAlly taKes uP an ImpoRtAnt pLaCiNg In mY heArt...i sHall ContrOl i shAll ResTraInt MysElf fRom mSg Him...i aM sO afRaid i cAnt dO it...haIZ...
Ahh....His nIcK...Ahh...He wrITe thEre i dOnt wIsh to sEe tHE teArs You sHed...i pRefEr thE sMile...Ahh....wHy wHy wHy...Why iS hE sO dAmn gOOd...Ahh....wHAt dO i aCtuAlly wAnt...i reAlly dOnt know...
Happy/sad/angry/me?
