24.5.06
Mood Check : BITCHY....I AM REBELLING....I HAD ENOUGH OF BEING GOODY-TWO SHOES...
i aiN't smart ok..evEn though i maY appEar likE oNe but i Ain't...i reAlly had eNough...since iT seeMs thAt the whOle wOrld KnowS tHAt i dId baDly THANKS to soMe publicitY gIven, shoUld i dO blah....ok maYbe i should bE gOOdy-twO sHoes fOr Now...iT jUSt a fEw dAys aWay fRom ChineSe O LeveLs...tHIs tIme i mUSt aT leAst gEt a B3....i mUSt....NotHing LessEr fOr tHAn tHAt foR mE...i mUst sCore And prove tO thEm...ARRGH...tHis iS jUSt sO MAD..
i nEed tO haVe sOme sAy fOR myselF....peoPle i kNow reAding tHIs...whAtever..i sHall not cAre iF yOu teLL mY dad..I HAD ENOUGH.....i had enough fOR beIng a gOody gOody girl fOR 16 yeArs...i havE liVed up tO 16 yEars aNd yupp...tHis iS thE fiRst tiMe i did sO baDly fOr mY exAms....i gUess ProvIng thE poiNt tHAt i ain't sMart iSn't gOod...cAuse tHe oNe wHo enDs uP gEttiNg huRt iS mE...EventAully iT wOuld sTiLL eNd uP tO bE me...i haVe tO faCe tHE ConsEquEnces nOt mY PARENTS....HEY i neeD a life tOO....i cAnt bE gooDy gOOdy aLwAys....haVe You heArd oF thiS quote ' If you obey all the rules, y0u misses all the fun ' ya...so MAybe i juSt ChoOse thE wrOng PoiNt oF tiME tO rebeL aND breAk thE ruLes...i ReAlly rEAlly had ENOUGH !!! thE mORe You dO thIs tO mE tHE mORe i rebel...i haTe thE thougHt oF yoU barKing At mE evEry mInute...
iF hE reAds this i kNow hE wOuld gEt reAl reAl mad..bUt tHAts nOt mY Prob...i kNow i sOund baD bUt HEY i neeD a liFe yA....i KNow hE iS doing tHIs fOR mY oWn gOOd bUt dOnt You thInk hE iS oVer-doing iT...thE fiRst fEw tIme i jUSt SHUT mY MoutH uP...bUt dO yOu thInk i cAn gO oN thIs wAy fOr thE reSt oF mY liFe...i have MY OWN SAY TOO...whY muSt i aLwAys listen tO yOurs...dOEs iT meAns that yOu aRe oLDer sO yOurS mUst bE rIght....ARRGH....
aT sOme poInt In Your lifE yOu miGht jUSt fAil iN dOing sOmethiNg aND it sO hAppeNS tHAt i Am aT thAt stAge sO WHY musT iT sHock YOU PEOPLE tHAt i did sO baDly...WHY ? dOEs it meAns thAt sMart pEople cAnt gO dumb...umm...i Am not sMArt...bUt i aM grOwning dumb-er aS eaCh dAy pAss...Just beCause i did Fairly wEll iN thE paSt dOEs not mEans thAt i will nevEr eVer dO baDly iN fUtuRe...HEY !!! i aM humAn tOO ...i aIn't robOt...i maKe mIstaKe aND aNywAy robOts tOO mAke mIStaKes sO tHErE iS nOthIng iN thIs woRld thAt dO nOt maKE mIStakes...tHE oNly One wHo wOn't maKe mistaKe is GOD aLone..No oNE eLse...
Let gEt baCk tO tHE poInt why mUSt YOU ALL bE sHock wHen i did baDly....i dO nOt kNow If YOu aLL reAlly cAre Or iS iT YOu ALL jUSt wAnt tO fInd a tOpic tO taLK abOut...i kNow i aM beIng sO mEaniE HEre bUt i aM jUSt sTatIng thE faCts....wE TeeNaGers gOosIp abOut idOls, fasHion aND suCh wHEreAs AduLtS tHEy gOssip about hOw baDly thIs child did HOw weLL thAt cHild did...anD thEy wiLL staRt cOmpAring.....HEY WE ARE NOT ITEMS FOR YOU TO COMPARE YA.....EveryOne iS diFferEnt iN thEIr owN wAys...One mIght bE clevErer thAn thE oTher...aND i haTe iT whEn PAreNTs sAY wHy You did sO baDly sEe thAt pErsOn aLso dId bEttEr thAn yOu wHY cAnt yOu jUSt sCore bEttEr...why YOur marKS lOok sO awfUl....blah blah blah...sOundS faMilAr ? tHAts wHAt aLL pArEnts sAY...sOmetImes i reAlly wAnt tO sAY tHAn why cAnt yOu bE liKE thE othEr paRenTs...Other pAreNts haVe bIg hOusE bIg cArs etc etc...wHy cAnt You bE sO succeSsfuL lIke tHem...Nah !!! thIs iS sO meAn....i doubt i wiLL sAy thAt...cAuse i Know iT hUrts...bUt thEy aRe of tHE sAme Logic...
haIZ...i jUSt wiSh tHAt mY pArents jUSt let mE gO througH thIs PhaSe oF mY life HAppilY...theY aRe MakiNg iT ToRTurOus fOr mE...i dOnt sEem Happy....tHEy tHink thIs iS beSt fOR mE...bUt naH tHAts wHAt bEst fOR tHEm not mE...tHEy dont seEm sAtIsfIEd....i gUEss i jUSt haD eNough oF good goody tHAts wHY i did thIs...oK lAh..gUEss iTs tIme i sHoulD gEt baCk tO tHE rigHt trAck...i tHink i preFer tHAt i aM cOnsTantly LouSy aNd sHoot up ALL oF a sUddEn cAuse PeoPle wOuld sAy woAh..You haVe wOrk haRd...bUt whEn yOu aRe cOnstaNly gEttIng thOse gOod grAdes nO oNe wiLL sAy AnytHing...aS thEy tHink iTs NormAl tO gEt tHAt bUT ah-ha...Once You fAil...tOnguEs wiLL sTart waggIng...tHey woUld sTaRt sAyiNg hOw cOme yOu did sO baDly...aNd sTart reStRictIng You aND suCh....i haD eNougH oF thIs dAys....right fRom tHE begiNning i aIn't SmArt...i oNly aPpear tO be sMArt bUT reAlly i aM nOt....No oNe wiLL pAt yOu at tHe baCk wHEn yOu dOne wEll...bUt wHEn yOu dO baDly...thEy wiLL wAnt tO sLAp You back.....ARRGH.....
i bEttEr sHut mY mOutH wHeneVer i sEe dAd...i aM sO afraId thAt sOmethIng bAd mIght jUSt cOme oUt oF mY stuPId mOutH....this dAys i dOnt reAlly talK tO dad cAuse i aM MAD....M A D...MAD......ARRGh....
temPer iS thE oNe tHing tHAt yOu cAnt gEt rid bY lOsiNg it...aND thAts whAt i cAnt lOSe nOw tHougH i reAlly wAnt tO fOrget about thIs bUt thAn thE WHOLE WORLD ALREADY KNOWs...so thEre iS nO oNe oF EscApiNG....bet wHEn they sEe mE thEy wOUld sUreLy qUesIon me...Ok lAh....wHAtever....SincE tHIs iS mY faTe...i mUSt aCcepT it...i jUst hopE thIS EpisOde wiLL eNd quicklY i aM reAl tiRed....
TodAy tHEy cAll aLL thE cOuncillOrs tO be...OMG....aRe thEre reAlly nO OtHer GOOD stuDents in thIs sChool...Ok i aM nOt sAyiNg thAt thE couNcillOrs tO bE aRe baD bUt tHan hmm...Judging fRom thE wAY thEy dReSs, thE wAy thEy PreseNt tHEmseLves....hmm....sOme reAlly cAnnot maKe iT....haiZ...hOPe oUr cOunciL cAn reAlly sUrvIve....Our faTe liEs iN thiS PoepLe's haNds aNd haIZ....reAlly dOnt kNow wHAt to sAy....
Life iS mOvIng PrettY faSt thIs dAys....JunE iS cOmiNg reAl sOOn...OMG...June...aLmoSt haLf thE yeAr haD gone...whAt haVe i dOne ??? NotHing greAt i sUppOSe....
i aM gEttIng reAlly tIRed....i fEel like gIvIng uP...oF cOurSe i kNow Not aT thIs PoiNt iN tIme bUt haIZ...tHE jourNey iS gEttIng mORe aND mOre eXhaUsting....i reAlly reAlly wISh i cOuld tAke it bUt haIZ...iT sEems lIke i cAnt....
YEstErdAy haD sOme CarEer taLk...wHEn fOR nUrsIng taLk...gUEss it kInda mAke me reAlly IntErEsted iN this COURse...tHE sPeaKer iS reAlly HumorouS....She maKes uS laUgh wIth WhatEver aCtiOns sHE dOes..If oNly sHE iS mY teAchEr how nICe woUld it be...24 PoiNts fOR NAyang Poly...i wAnna gO thEre..bUt iTs sO faR yio chu kang thEre...HaiZ...how....Ok NevErmINd abOut thAt fIRst....i haVe to maKe suRe i sCore 24 Points aND bEloW...i mUSt i mUSt...no lip-serVice fOr mE...i mUst PrOve to tHOSE PEOPLE WHO DESPISE ME....i cAn dO bEttEr...haIZ...bUt thE sTreNgTh iN mE...haIZ...its gEttIng LeSser anD lEsser aS eAch dAy PAss....
Add oil Add oil....i neEd mOre oil tO fiLL mY taNk...
tAlk tO hIm agAIn oUr 7th timE...haha...this tIme hE iS wIth hIs Gang oF fRieNds...tHey aRe aLL sO cute....keep oN LaugHing while talking to hiM....KindA ShoCk mE...HE uSe Jian Ting Hp cAll mE...wAh sO now i gOt mY idOl hp nO...wahaha...but nah i wOnt abUse my rights...Ok eNough cRappiNg gOt tO gEt wOrk dOne beFore i gEt gRoundEd agAin.....till than...
`` one of the few bitchy moments...Pissed her and you will get a kick at your butt..
Happy/sad/angry/me?
