20.5.06
How LouSy cAn thIs wEek Be....hOpe iT wOnt gEt aNy Worser...bUt i thInk it wiLL stiLL wiLL...gOttEn bAck reSult...wEll gUEss ThIs tiMe iT woUld cErtAinly haVe tO fOrK oUt 30 bUcKs tO paY thEm caUse i haVe lOSt...haiZ...bUt thAts nOt thE wORse thE woRse iS hOw tO breAk thE neWs tO dad...i thInK i goTteN gEt kiLLed tOnigHt iF hE kNowS hOw mY reSult iS like...haiZ...i dOnt thInk i woUld bE aBle tO uSe mY cOm anYmORe caUse thEy mIght pUt a loCk oN oUr brOadbaNd sO thAt wE cant cOme oNliNe..Arrgh..thIs iS jUSt sO terribLe hOw i wiSh i cOulD gEt awAy frOm thIs niGht-maRe....i wAnt tO fInd a hole tO burrY mYseLf....sO thAt i nEed nOt faCe thE woRld anYmoRe....aRrgh...YestErdAy oUr sIxth time oN thE pHone..oK i kNow i aM beIng lAMe tO couNt this but itS mEmoRies yA...haiZ....i aM doWn wIth tErrible flu aND reAlly baD sore thRoaT i wAs pRaticAlly cOughiNg thE whOle dAy..aND mY thOrat Hurts baDly...EvEn my vOice hAve cHange..haIZ....HE taLk aboUt hIs reSult bUT thE mORe he sAy hOw wEll hE haD done thE mORe i sTartEd cryiNg...but i dOubt hE kNows...i wAs reAlly siLent Unless hE aSk mE quEstiOn aNd suCh cAuSe i wAs crYing...but dOnt wAnt to lEt hIm kNow oR elSe laTer he sAy sOmeMore maKE mE evEn mORe sAd.....i feeL so upSet....i dont kNow whY maybe thInkINg aboUt hOw baD mY reSults wEre aND hOw i wOnt bE abLe to uSe cOm aS freeLy maKe mE reAlly Upset...oK thIS iS onlY miDs...i aM goIng to work haRd..thIs tiME i eNSure thAt iTs nOt lip-seRviCe onLy bUt actiOns done..
When i aM upSet i woUld bE reAlly reAlly quiet sO iF i aM quiEt pLease cOme anD cOmfOrt mE Or talk to mE bUt pleAse dont talK to mE aboUt thIngs thAt wiLL reMind mE aboUt mY sADneSs....wEll..i aM nOw iN a tErrible terrIblE mOOD...i jUSt wiSH thAT i NEed nOt gO through thIs onCe more...i aM goIng to bE haPpy wHEn i sEe mY PRelIms reSult nOt crYiNg ...i aM gOing to chAnge anD beCome haRdwoRkinG..ok hOpe i cAn keeP to thIs aND nOt eND uP giVing lip-servIce..
tHis HolIday woNt bE a HolIday fOR me...thEre iS so mUCh toNs oF activIes tHAt i reAlly woNDer iF i cAn suRvive through thOse... i aM reAlly reAlly eXhaUsted
30 may - SS Lesson / dance
31 may - Dance
1 may to 3 may - F&N
5 may to 7 may - StudEnt CounciL cAmp
15 may , 16 may and 18 may - Literature seminar
thats aLL i cAn reMembEr fOr nOw...i feeL liKe dYing...ARggh...StRess StrEss...
Happy/sad/angry/me?
