23.4.06
haIZ..i aM cOnfuSed...i donT kNOw wHAt hE wAnts...i aM reAlly reAlly cOnfuSed bY hIm..i dOnt kNow whAT aRe tHe feeLinGs i aM havIng right nOw...aLL mY feeLings aRe miX uP JumBle UP aNd blAh aND aLL oF tHis MAke mE So So sO sO cOnfuSed..ArrgH.....wHEn i wAnt tO giVe uP...HopE wOuLd JUst cOme KnoCking aT mY DooR...wTh...i donT kNow whAt i shOUld dO....dO i nEed yOu iN mY liFe ? i reAlly dOnt kNow...aND i donT wAnna thInk but yOu are jUSt maKing mE thInk about aLL thIS aLL thE tiME..wHy ??? aRrgH....noW thAt yOu haVe sOmeOne whO yOu like...i Am happY fOr You aNd iTs oK wiTh mE...bUt wHAt i reAlly dOnt underStaNd iS wHy yOu wOuLd eVerYtiMe cOme tELL mE aboUt Her...oN hOW sHE hurt yOu eTc..I cOmfORt You aNd stAnd bY yOu...aNd tRied tO cHEer yOu uP..eVen tHougH mOSt oF tHE tiMe i faiL iN iT...hmm...Ya siNCe wHEtHer i aM doWn yOu aRe tHEre fOR mE sO yupp iT shOUld Be juSt riGht tHAT i dO thIs foR yOU....yOu wiLL sAy sO maNy thIngs...blah blah blah ~~... sEe lAh nOw tHAt i aM tYpiNG thIS hE come taLK tO mE....i aM coNfuSed....i reAlly aM...i dOnt kNow whAT tO dO...ArrgH...conFused cOnfuSed sO suPer cOnfUSed....whY muSt hE alwAys dO thIS tO mE....sOmetImes yOur woRdS reAlly huRt mE dO yOu kNow thAt..i doUbt You dO.....dAmn..i donT kNoW whAT haS come oVer me...maYbe tHe reAson whY i dO nOt wANt tO haVe anY relAtiOnshIp noW iS thAT aLL oF thIS NonSenSe maKes mE suPEr coNfuSed...it scRews mY life aND yA maKEs mE uPset...It alwAYS coNfusEs mY feeLings...ThinGs woULd nOt tuRn oUt tHE wAy it sHould bE...IF onLy iF onLy...i haVe nOt knOWn yOu...i dO nOt kNoW hOW mY liFe wouLd bE liKe nOw...haVe tO adMit yOu brOuGHt iN coLouRs tO my liFe bUt yOu soMetiMEs jUSt screW me uP sO baDly thAT i jUSt wAnt tO breaK doWn aND crY...
sOmetImes i reAlly dOnt kNow wHo iS tHE reAl yOu aND whO yOu taKe mE aS....iTs liKe yOu aRe maSk beHind sO maNy differenT CharaCters tHAt i dO nOt rEAlly kNow whO IS tHE reAl yOu....i jUSt wAnna cRy oUt lOud aND jUSt sTop aLL thIS nONseNSes aND jUSt breAk awAy frOm yOu bUt i donT kNoW whY i jUSt cAnt....i jUSt dO nOt haVe tHE heArt...i donT kNoW wHy....ArrgH....i aM jUSt sO Upset aT mYsElf..i reaLLy Loathe MysElf...i reAlly wAnt tO aSk mYseLF wHY wHy cAnt i bRiNg mYseLF tO cUT free frOm yOu liKE hOW i cUt mYselF frEe frOm SomeOnE.....maybe cAuse He iS jUSt sO sO sO sO different frOm SomeOne....i wEnt in search fOR tHE aNSwer iN aLL mY PrevIous pOSt ...aND yA..Its jUSt sO hiLarIouS seeIng hOW i blOg iN tHE pAst...OK weLL He dId reAlly brIng mI happIneSs aNd mAybe tHAT tHE reAson whY i dIdn't wAnt tO stoP mY cOnnectIOn witH hIm whICh cOuld bE eAsilY done sInCe wE wEre evEn iN tHE sAme sChooL....stOppIng aLL cOnnectIon with hiM aNd i woUld nevEr haVe tO evEr sEe hIm agAin...bUt haIZ...maYbe nOt nOW...maybe NExt tIMe wHEn i cAnt taKe thIS anYmoRe i mIght jUSt dO thIS ...i migHT....aNd maybe i wiLL....haIZ...i wAnna bE a strEss Free giRl nOw...i wAnt tO cOnceNtrAte oN mY stuDIEs...bUt i cAn bE tHEre fOR yOu wHEn yOu need mE as i kNow yoU wiLL be tHEre foR mE whEn i need yOu...maYbe thATs aLL we ShouLd be...reflEctIng baCk...i thInk iTs beSt iF wE reMAin thIS wAy....cAUse iF iTs anYthIng eLSe iT mIght jUSt sPOiL tHIS oh-so-PerfeCt frIendShiP tHAT we sHare...
Ok EnOugh oF tHE sAd sAd feeLingS...i tHink iT woUld oNly boRe yOu iF yOu cOntiNue tO reAd aboUt aLL tHis...WaTCh tHE RepeAt TelEcAst oF tHe cHariTy sHow...gOSh....i lOve tHE ' xin ' wORd...Ok wEll i haVe tO adMit aS whAT The oThers sAy ITs reAli HaRd tO see whAT wE aRe maKing iF wE dO nOt teLL tHEm beFoRe hAnd...SoRRy ! haVe tO adMit i maKe oNe sUper obViOus aND biG mIstaKe whICh Is tHE makiNg of thE moUth thIng...goSh...its sO sO sO slAnted thAT iTs haRd tO maKE Out wHat wE are dOIng...sOrrY !! THe funnY paRt iS That wHEn i wAs wAtcHing tHE rePeat tElecAst of thE whole Show...whEre thEre iS thIs begInnINg PArt befORe tHE shOw staRt tHEre wiLL be liKE intro of tHE hOsIptaL etC...mY heart wAs liKE pOundiNG so fAst aS iF i wAS liKE goIng tO pErfOrm lIKE thAT...ThE exaCt feeLings i gEt whEn i wAS tHEre....wHEn i sAw tHE whOLe PerForManCe of oUr shOw...My mInd stArt tO Float baCk tO What haPpen thaN..it wAS liKE sO fUn aN eXperIeNce thaT i dId nOt reGret joiNing....hOpe nExt yEar i wiLL haVe a cHAnce tO jOIn sUch evEnts after i eNter PolY aND that iS iF i eNter....GoD kNOws whAT migHT jUSt hapPEn neXt yEar...
wEll i aM cUrreNtlY sO iNto My blOg soNg...CrAid DaviD - UnbeLiEvabLe....bUt I aM Not In LOve Yet... for nOw...
Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now I see, what love means.
[Chorus]
It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.
In my heart, in my head, it's so clear now,
Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now,
I was lost and you've rescued me some how-.
I'm alive, I'm in love you complete me,
And I've never been here before.
Now I see, what love means.
[Chorus]
When I think of what I have, and this chance I nearly lost,
I cant help but break down, and cry.
Ohh yeah, break down and cry.
[Chorus]
Now I see, what love means
Happy/sad/angry/me?
